Sunday, November 30, 2008

Hone the Vision



At one point in my life I thought I could live off the land. I thought I could grow and put by enough fruit and vegetables to have food all winter. I could buy the grain I needed and grind my own flour, bake my own bread. I could buy meat from farmers and freeze it, or raise my own meat.
Only one problem with this scenario--although I'm glad I worked as hard at it as I did--I couldn't kill animals and it was exhausting to do a large scale garden with only a shovel and a pitchfork. Oh, and husband. So, I'm grateful for the farmers. For the truckers who bring the food. I'm grateful for all those who work hard to make our food safe, to support organic gardening. I'm grateful for the folks who work harder than me to keep organic food on their tables, to use and reuse, to buy locally.
It seems like I'm very far away from the vision I had back in my early twenties. I even tried to garden on the lookout tower outside of Grangeville. I dug up some land down by the weather station, and planted who knows what. Nothing came up--we where at 6000 ft., which may have been one reason. And I had to haul the water on my back in a black bladder. But I had other successes. I baked my own bread--there was a propane tank; the forest service road made it possible for our tower to have gas--so we had a tiny stove and refrigerator. And did I saw we hauled our water from the stream. Can you imagine drinking from streams now? That was back in the early 70s, when gas cost less than a dollar per gallon.
Yes, things have changed, and I think we were right, the hippy vision back then. Live off the land, depend on community, love everyone. It was a little skewed, but vision takes work to hone. So lets continue to hone the vision. Let's make it a prioity--to live well and to love well.

Peace,
Flower


Friday, November 28, 2008

"Australia"


I went to the movies today with my friend, Eileen. It was an excellent movie, a real tear-jerker, and a saga, which was nice for a change. You know how the movies these days kind of follow a theme or a format. This movie had good twists and lots of excitement. Love and loss. Fights and mystery. Just all around great. I cried off and on throughout the entire movie. So did everyone else.

Then we came back here and had turkey soup and pumpkin pie and chatted about finding true love. We both decided to sing for our mate to come to us. You'll see why when you watch the movie.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, have you every grown a yam vine or a sweet potato vine? When I was a kid we would poke toothpicks around the middle of a yam or sweet potato and then sit it in a jar of water. The jar would fill with roots and the potato would grow a lovely trail of vines. I adored those plants.

Hope you got out and shopped today. And if you didn't, hope you had a leisurely down day. For me, the movie completed the holiday.
Ciao, Flower

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving



Well Happy Turkey Day. Yesterday I had acupuncture and when I asked my Chineses Accupuncturist if she had a family meal on Thanksgiving, she said there is no Thanksgiving in Canada and there is no turkey in Chinese food. Ah, yes, I said, thinking about the noodles and the bean sprouts, eggs and vegetables. Very good food, with pork and chicken. But no turkey.

On Chinese New Years, she said, they eat dumplings. I said, Stuffed with pork? Yes, and boiled. I was getting hungry. And on birthdays, lots of noodles; noodles for a long life. Very interesting. And then she stuck a needle between my eyes and I went to sleep.

I don't eat dairy or wheat--so I make a rice stuffing--so to speak. I cook a rice that has mulitple grains in it--because it's pretty. Then I add sauteed celery and onion and a teaspoon of poultry seasoning. It's very good.

As for desert--I'll share my pumpkin pie invention with you. Make a cookie dough with rice flour--any sugar cookie recipe will work, but I use Fanny Farmer's Butterscotch Brownies--see Fanny Farmers Cookbook and substitute rice flour for wheat flour. And margerine for butter--if the milk in butter bothers you. Spread the dough into a pie dish (it doesn't roll). Now mix your organic canned pumpkin with coconut milk--and all the spices and sugar, etc. Pour in and bake the same way you would a pumpkin pie. It's better than the regular pie, trust me.

Okay then, love everyone and have a great day. Flower

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Fearless, Wake Up!


This is my advice for the days we are in: be fearless. Everywhere I turn I'm hearing things like, Not in this economic climate, things are bad right now, You know, the downturn, and yes, there is the market settling out, and the folks who bought the ARM loans losing there houses. This could have happened in the 70s or the early 80s, when we had other downturns.
But things aren't the same now. There is a spiritual flux at work now that is more powerful than before. Yes, now we must work on other levels, that is, because we're waking up. What happens when you wake up? Do you look around and say, My house is a mess. I better clean up. Or do you say, My, the house is a mess, I think I'll panic and abandon ship...

I got frightened at the beginning of this financial settling out, partially because I was in a divorce and was already frightened for my survival. I was worried about how my life might turn out--was I destined to live on the street? Well, no, I don't think so, but the fear was there. Fear is a bad thing. Fear makes more fear. Better to think about what you want than what you don't want. This is a universal truth.
What would happen if we all go shopping Black Friday--make things better. It's statistics that is running the market and the media. If we do most of our holiday shopping Black Friday, then we can help the climate say, "It's a sunny day. We're not afraid." Then, after the holidays, get in there a work hard for truth, happiness, for health, for equality, and for love. Yes, for love. Gratitude and generosity, too!
Yes, all you fearless ones, Wake up! And stand tall!

With Love, Flower (and little helper)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Christmas Tree


O Tannenbaum, o tannenbaum--across the street in the apartment building I can see a Christmas tree all lit up. It's too early, right? Well, who knows these things. Lots of folks are holiday shopping at the book store. Tonight I read at the open mic at Village Books. The funny thing was I couldn't find anything to read because it's all to sexy. So I read from my novel--which is also sexy. SO I decided I'm a sexpot--what can I do. Anyway, sexpots garden, right?

Yes, and I have many plants in my condo too. Now I have a palm, and my cat is already chewing on it. I have many African violets, some I've been carrying around for twenty years, not literally, but I've carted them from one place of residence to another. They grow well for me, flower regularly. Do you know that you can root a leave easily. Just make a couple of slices perpendicular through the stem and lay it on some potting oil. Kind of cover the leaf, but not entirely. Then water it regularly. You can even cover it with a bit of saran wrap to make a little greenhouse. It won't be long before it send out new little leaves, turns into a new plant. You can have as many violets as you want--viola, more violets. See Growing African Violets for help with these plants.

This year I'm going to decorate for Christmas. I've been a Scrooge for many years. Just got tired of the mess--or just tired, or depressed. Probably that later. Depressed, then you don't do anything and the excuse is you're tired. But now I'm wired--the opposite of tired. And happy--well mostly. And divorce--completely.

That's all. Ciao!

Tiger Milk


Remember Tiger Milk and having a Tiger in your Tank, and Tony the Tiger? I have a saying, Take a Tiger for a Walk--which means, go with your wildness. I'm open to my wildness, to let it be free and spontaneous, although sometimes I embarrass myself. I like my wild side and being in nature enhances it.

Next to me right now on the bed, my cat is curled, sleeping. I was in Carolyn Wright's poetry class all day yesterday, so he was wild when I got home. He doesn't like me leaving him for long periods of time. And he's addicted to kitty treats, and I ran out. He kept going to the corner that he likes to scratch, which he knows drives me crazy. He'd scratch it, then run away. Over and over as I tried to watch a movie. Still no treats. I did capture him a few times and brushed him and held him. Anyway, he finally settled down and now he's here beside me.

Tiger in the garden. I don't think so, but perhaps roaming nature spirits. Have you ever read that book All Good Things, or something like that. I'll look it up. She talks about talking to the nature spirits to help your garden. Say if you have too many moles, just talk to them, ask them to stay over in the common area, or on the paths. It worked for her. There's also The Findhorn Story to check out.

Well, all for now-happy day, Flower

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Chameleon Tulips


You can still plant tulips, you know! And when you go to the tulip store or to the catalogue, say Territorial Seed Company, you'll find some lovelies you can order. I like Antoinette tulip, also known as a chameleon tulip. Get this, it blooms yellow and then begins to blush like a maiden—that's what the catalogue says—and eventually it turns salmon-colored. Very pretty both in the garden and on your table.

At my ex-house I planted the darkest purple tulips I could find--almost black. Next to them I planted yellow tulips. Ahhh, breathtaking. I have never grown the chameleon tulip, but my ex said (when I met him) that he was a chameleon—what I didn't realize at the time was that he meant it. He would be what someone wanted him to be at the drop of a hat. In my case, I wanted a loving husband that would be there, stand beside me, be playful, good cook, hard worker, smelled good, etc. What I didn't realize is all those years he was too busy for me was because it is hard to hold the form--you know, like the lizard people they say run the government.

Remember how on Star Trek the shape-shifter eventually lets go and returns to the slithering mass he really is. Well, the slithering mass of my ex is refreshing now. Why? You might ask. Because I couldn't ever get it why he was so testy and the look he always gave me—sort of a not-on-your-life look. But now, I'm divorced—free at last. And I have a legal name, got the drivers license changed and new checks are on their way. I'm good to go. And I don't have to interpret what is going on.

What is love really? I think I've been asking this question for a very long time. When I have my hands in the dirt and I'm focused on weeding around my vegetables, I don't think much about love. I just have this wonderful feeling of wholeness and goodness inside. Other times I'm wondering, can I love, have I loved, am I lovable? It's a tough one for me, and perhaps for others. I think the answer is yes to all of these questions, and the right guy will come along, eventually. I also have asked myself if I'm a chameleon. Maybe a little. But faking it doesn't last long for me—I'm not a good actress nor a good liar. Nor do I return to a shivering mass. I do blush like a maiden on occasion.

How about some tulip shopping or daffodil shopping for the holidays. Spring flowers are just so enlivening. Happy to see them push through the ground because it says spring is not far off. Here's a book to help you grow them-- Gardening with Tulips

Happy, happy,


Flower

Friday, November 21, 2008

Plot Next Door

I overheard the woman in the plot next to me saying her husband was good for nothing. Those might not have been her exact words, but she was complaining about how much there was to do, to garden and to keep house and to sell the dahlias she grew. Her sister was there with her and she was commiserating, also having a ner-do-well husband. And I'm hoeing away, recalling my ex saying that he wasn't going to have a honey-do list and me saying, what's that? And he has a scrunched up forehead as he blurts, you know, me doing this list of things that the wife says to do. You and all the others are all the same. I laughed. Because I was the mechanic and plumber and electrician of the family. It was the way I was raised, wiring panel boards at my dad's office, fixing my sink drain when I lost a contact, rebuilding the duel carbonators on my Volkswagen hatchback.

But if I had a honey-do list, it would read like this: Hold me, feed me, tell me I'm beautiful. Make me feel safe. Bring me breakfast in bed. Oh and turn over the garden. Please add the right mulch, and those leaves at Brenda's, haul them please. Ha, that's not much though compared to what I do, feed and feed and feed. But that's my work, to love unconditionally. The psychic told me, unconditional love is a good goal for a soul. Just spread it around like sweet jam.

Well, I had acupuncture yesterday and still my head hurts. But I slept deeply and dreamed of this large open boat going down these waters; there were lots of us aboard and we were standing up, admiring things. Other boats where they grew great bunches of oysters and the walls of the river, if it was a river, where rock and covered with plants. The guide told us to sit down and then there was a crack and the boat started to sink. I started to swim and the guide said not to swim. And I imagined crocks. So then this ugly guy was climbing the rock wall. I was climbing after him. I just didn't know what we were going to do next. And the alarm went off.

Okay, gotta go. The grandbaby is coming today.

LOL, Flower

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Swiss Chard


There are many varieties of Swiss Chard. Some, like Bright Lights are so colorful in the garden. They light it up all winter long--in milder climates, that is. I've grown Golden Chard and Rhubarb chard, too. And the common chard of course. (Sorry, this is kale, didn't have a picture of chard.)

One of my favorite dishes is French Lentil Soup with Chard. I took a recipe, it might have been Martha Stewart's originally, and I changed it, as I do. Here is one of my favorite dishes. Saute onions and carrots until tender, add a cup of french lentils and a can of stewed tomatoes. I like the Italian seasoned. Then add some water and simmer until the lentils are tender. Then add chopped chard or kale. Ah, this soup is so flavorful. I like to drizzle olive oil on top. You can dunk crusty bread in it and serve with a salad. Good for cold winter days. 400 Best Soups Ever

Today it looks like rain. Yesterday everything was way frosty. Now that I have a handle on this dark early thing, I think I'll be doing more garden reading.

Ciao! Flower

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Down Coats and Warm Blankets


Well, now it is so cold I'm wearing my down coat to take my walks. But I can't complain, because we're having sunshine. Shine on! And last night I couldn't sleep as the trains kept whistling all through the night, and now again this morning--train whistles. It is interesting how the conductors blow their whistles. Some, it seems, play with the echo across the bay. I'm betting this, as it really is a sort of music as they push and back off on the whistle. And then there are the conductors who lay on the horn straight away. Like I do my car horn when someone has turned in front of me. Yes, you know the drill.
If it hasn't started snowing where you live, you may have leaves to rake yet. These leaves are one of the best mulches and aerators for your garden. Pile them on in big heaps instead of bagging them and putting them out for the garbage men. This is my job still--are I pathetic or what? No, just too busy. Last night I laid awake, groaning from too much dinner. I picked up my grandson and then drove through rush-hour traffic--it's nothing in Bellingham compared to other places, but it was busy--even in Fairhaven. We headed to my daughter and son-in-law's new home. They just moved in yesterday--I was surprised at how organized everything was. They had lots of help--which is good in a move. And we ate some dinner and looked around. All those warm blankets on the beds, a good thing. I heard on the news on the way there that the Obama girls--Milia and Sasha --have been invited to star on Mili Cyrus's show. I was thinking that these girls will be interesting to watch. Perhaps more public than most White House kids. Is there a vegetable garden at the White House? A pea patch close by? Fall leaves to rake? There's a good book about fall that all kids will like Fall Leaves Fall! A good gift for Thanksgiving. Ahhhh! Turkey and stuffing.
Well, I'm off to editing and to see my naturopath. Happy day. Smile, the sun is shining. Flower

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Getting it Done


All gardeners really want is for things to be beautiful, for plants to grow, to sit at the table with a plate of steaming vegetables after a hard days work. I’ve been thinking about how easy it is to put food by, how easy it is to dry fruit—pears?—with a food dryer, to steam and freeze vegetables—if there are any left. Sour kraut from your cabbage—you could still have some cabbage left in the garden. I made sour kraut once. It was the best thing I’d ever tasted. Not like this stuff you buy in a can or in a jar. It was just salty enough and just tart enough. I made it in a crock. I don’t know where I got a crock, but I had one.

It was the first house that Jack and I owned—my first husband—and my kitchen was awful—a stove, a bit of counter, and a farm sink. All this on one wall, on the opposite wall, the refrigerator, the door to the basement, the door to the back porch. The other two walls, door to the dining room and window to the yard. So that was it. My kitchen in the condo has more counter space. I think I had a rolling table, that’s where I kept the kraut, by the window.
So all you do is chop the cabbage and salt it, put it in the crock. I think it makes it’s own juice—cabbage is juicy you know. You weight it down with a plate and wait. Everything has to be super clean. If not, you could grow mold and nothing else. Well it worked, and then I baked rye bread and made corned beef. Jack and I ate this meal more than once, as I grew lots of cabbage. I also made pickles this way. I wanted to farm, but it didn’t work out so well this lifetime. It's just too exhausting.

A psychic once told me that Jack and I had been together for four lifetimes. Once I left him, once he left me, once we stayed for the whole shabang. We were farmers. And here we were in this life, living on mini-farms, making pottery and selling it at craft stores. Up there where the council sits and observes us humans (theoretically) they’re nodding, yes, they did it again.
This sounds weird, but it’s early still, what can I say? I’m tired. Yes, and it’s about time for my spinach and egg omelet. Today is a writing day, tomorrow a garden day. And the weather, still holding.
Ciao! Flower

Monday, November 17, 2008

Fall Sky, a Delight!




I started to write this morning, but then my internet was being a pill, remember when everyone was a pill, or was that just in my family? Anyway, I couldn't get it to save anything, then I couldn't get the blog to come back up. Then I lost what I wrote. Now I don't recall what I was thinking, but I can tell you the light now is fabulous, during the morning and evening that is, that pink and blue sky we get around here. It is particularly pretty when the color lights up the peaks, I guess they call that Alpine Glow. I just learned that recently. When I lived on the water I fixed the spyglass on the Cascades, where the peaks were covered with the most snow and then when the sky turned pink as the sun went down, wowsa, it was fabulous. That same color colored the garden, the big maple, the yellow flowers on the kale, ahhhhh! I'm a sucker for color.

Last night I went for a long walk on the boardwalk that scoots out over the bay where it touches into shore in Fairhaven.It was cold but oh so beautiful--perhaps prettier than I've seen the sky in a long time. And it was so cosmopolitan--german, russian, american, french, you name it, the language was floating on the boyant air. Good moods everywhere, sunny and warm on a fall day. Fab.

Okay, so I'm including pictures of Taylor Dock and shots toward the ferry terminal where the Alaskan Ferry comes in. In the distance you can see Lummi Island and beyond, Orcas.

Ciao! Flower

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Garlic

If you live in the Pacific NW you could probably still plant garlic. It's is a fall planted crop, which gives it lots of time to grow. Territorial Seed Company has many varieties. I had a friend once who grew and sold many different varieties. It's amazing how the flavor from one to the other is so different. Some are easier to peel than others, and the elephant garlic, a gem.

If you buy local garlic, peel it and keep it in a jar in your fridge—rather than buy big jars from China, you will be doing local economy a favor—and with all the poisoning coming out of China these day, perhaps doing yourself a favor too. Try Chet's Garlic, Fireball, or Purple Glazer. There is Elephant garlic and Northern White. Garlic is high in good antibiotic-like qualities. It will keep you well. When I get a cold I make chicken soup with a 20 cloves of garlic. This is a healing remedy that works. I even have heard that sticking a clove of garlic in your ear when you have an earache, it will do the job. I'm not going that afar, but garlic is good. Last night for dinner I had sautéed leeks with garlic. Yum! Don't forget keeping the vampires away.

All is well if the garden is well, Flower

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Unagi Don



Seasoned eel on a bed of sushi rice. Strips of julienned Daikon radish. Wasabi & pickled ginger. Yummy! No not the babies dinner, the mean Eileen and I had last night in Canada. We drove to Canada, about a 1/2 hour drive from here, to listen to another friend, Elke, talk about spiritual discernment. This was in regards to following spiritual teachers—like Eckhart Tolle--or new ones that will be coming out of the woodwork. She was advising us as to how to know if a teacher is right for you. She talked a bit about cults and those who wish to have power over others. And those of us who wish to give up our power.

Discernment is mainly a function of trusting the inner messages—hearing "walk away " and following the message is one way to listen to the self. Feeling ill may be another message to walk away or finding yourself checking out. I know both of these well but didn't link them to my situation—which wasn't a situation with a spiritual leader—but was a situation with someone who wanted power over. So eventually, after getting very sick, I walked away. Perhaps it's easier to listen and act--no big deal.

Now back to the meal. It was a Japanese place next door to a metaphysical store in White Rock. The food was excellent. We drove up, crossed the border without too much trouble. I still have junk in my car from moving, and the guard questioned it. He was a bit imposing, but then said, "Goodbye" like the woman says on that show, The Weakest Link. Is that still on? Well, that's beside the point. Anyway, it was a nice evening and the food was great.

Today I'm cleaning out—yes, I told you about Peter Walsh. Cleaning out is the way to get free in life. Okay—I'm willing to try it. First the closet. Yes, then the dresser. Yes, then…. So get Peter's book and see how getting rid of stuff (gurus and husbands too) will set you free. It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff And if you go to Oprah.com you can sign up to get assignments from Peter. We can clean up together.

All for now—LOL, Flower

Friday, November 14, 2008

Raccoons, Rats, and Bears

Cats and squirrels, chipmunks and starlings. Dogs. Sea otters. Opossums. Bear. Yes, I've had all of these in my garden. And as far as I know, it's only the raccoons and deer that cause real problems. Raccoons will dig up table scraps, so if you are the type of composter who digs your bucket of scraps into the soil everyday, and then you find it dug up the following morning, you may do better with one of those black bins with a closing lid. Animals of all sorts are drawn to compost. Once I opened the bin and there was a rat sleeping on top of the compost. It's warm in there, right? Once I headed to the garden and a blind raccoon was digging through the compost. When I hollered at him, he stood on his hide legs and squinted, weaving back and forth like a drunk. Once I came to the garden and saw that I'd lost all my peas to the deer, and once I came to check on my new seedlings and the cats had dug them all up—ah, new kitty box.

Well, some of this just can't be prevented. The most important thing to prevent is rats nesting under your house. That also happened to me. If you have this problem, get an exterminator. Rat poo causes a disease that is deadly. They got into our crawl space, and then nested in the furnace. Eek! The stink!

Okay then, the grandbaby is coming today and hopefully it will be sunny.

LOL , Flower

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Too Late?



In the case of November 12th, I stayed up too late. Was it the full moon? Anyone know when it is? Today? Tomorrow? I generally hear from my favorite astrologer, Stephanie Austin, but I didn't. Let's see, are we in Scorpio? Is it a Taurus full moon? The full moon is opposite the sun. And the sky last night, fabulous with a big old moon.

So what was I doing up so late? I was listening to Peter Walsh on Oprah yesterday, who is challenging us all to clean up and organize our houses. He says to put your kids and grandkid's art into photo books. So I was making on on line.

He says that people who have messy homes also have problems with their weight. This is interesting to me, because I've gained a little since I've lived in this crowded little condo. Things are messy here. I have years of stuff loaded on my shoulders and in the closets and under the bed and couch. I'm making it a plan to clean out. It's not too late for that.

I have a lot on my plate today, so won't stay long. So clean up your garden, the yard, the back porch. Then start on the hall closet and the bedroom closet. Get rid of stuff you don't use or want. I think Peter gave it six months—if you haven't used it, get rid of it. Go to Oprah.com and sign up for his challenge. He'll give you assignments. I'm doing it. I'm getting free of stuff.

Over and out, Flower PS That's the grandbaby on Halloween.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blanket Mulch and More!


Save your old blankets—the holy ones and cut them up to lay down between the rows—or build a raised garden bed and put gravel between the rows. My ex loved to put cardboard everywhere. If it is on a path with bark over it, it will become majorly slippery—I know this from experience.

If you want to use burlap, that will give you an old-timey feeling—which may be nice. If you are old-timey, you may have that feeling without hunting down burlap. You could use garden cloth—it is black and is made from some weird fiber you wouldn't want to wear. My mother once wore a burlap bag as a dress, she was poking fun at the shift, the straight dress that came out in the 50s. What happened to the waistline she wondered?

You can use newspaper between the rows and read snippets of headlines while you pull the pigweed. You can use black plastic—this one I abhor because it cracks and breaks and eventually you have a lot of shredded black plastic in your garden. You could use old beach towels, or leftover placemats, you could use rug remnants, this one is a very good idea, especially if it is indoor-outdoor and looks like grass. Astroturf. For more ideas see A Way to Garden.

Invention is fun! Flower , aka, Nancy

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Acrostic



Yesterday I wrote that I'd made up an acronym, but I had the wrong word. Although GLAD is an acronym, but not like USA. An anagram for divorce might be Cover ID, so to get into Singledom you have to have all the signed and sealed papers. Now an acrostic is when the first letter of a word represents something: GLAD = Giving, Loving, Acting on Intuition, Devotion. Now this pretty much covers what I'm after. Except I could also use Doing Art, Eating Well and Resting Well, which would be GLADDER—Nancy Pagh suggested this--which could be my word for the year. The dictionary describes it this way: feeling joy or pleasure; delighted; pleased: glad about the good news; glad that you are here. Which I like, so I could be glad to be here and feeling the joy while giving, loving, acting on my intuition, devotional practice, doing art, eating well, and resting well. This seems to be a good singledom decree. I'm on board with my Cover ID: Single


Well, I feel celebrated. Nancy Pagh, Brenda Miller, Katie Humes, Barb Crowley, and me, Nancy Canyon—yes this is my legal name now, all had great food and wine at the Hearth Fire last night. (The picture was taken at North Cascade Institute--That's me on the left, Katie above, Brenda on the right) Katie gave me a bag with singledom items including a three minute timer for pining over my lost marriage, a blue bird of happiness, and a post card of a mean looking owl to scare off everything bad. Brenda gave me chocolate. I gave myself a silver necklace, an open circle connected by a silver chain to a solid circle with the word PEACE stamped on it. One slips through the other to connect it around the neck. It is my singledom gift to myself. The circle representing wholeness.


Okay, did I tell you about AMAG, the ascended masters who said I'm here to learn about unconditional love. I knew this when I met B, only I was young then, so I only called it love. Now I know about conditional love, and it feels bad, let me tell you. They said I could continue to love unconditionally, since trying not to love is what hurts so badly. So here I am open hearted, loving him despite everything that has gone down. I told him that so many times as we came apart.


Okay, it is blowing like gangbusters out there, whistling around the condo. There will be no mulching and winterizing today—I'm such a baby. I'm doing my writing instead.


Gladder,


FLower

Monday, November 10, 2008

Piano Mover Needed



I have this piano, see, and it needs to be moved from Kingston to Bellingham. It is the last detail of my divorce, which is final today. I can't believe how long it has taken. If you think it is a quick process, think again. Well, maybe it isn't too bad if you have an annulment or if you've been married a short time and have not assets together or children, and not many memories. Memories are big things to haul around, as are pianos. If you know a piano mover, send them my way.

So this morning I was thinking of a acronym that would remind me of my focus these new days of single life. It is GLAD--which means Giving, Loving, Acting on my heart's desires, and Devotion. These are the things that will change my life--gosh, in a bad marriage, one just contracts, hurts, becomes bitter and withholding. Bad news. Now, things feel open, I have all possibility available to me. And rest, which isn't in the acronym, but can be one of my heart's desires, is very much needed.

Okay, today, blustery, the leaves are blowing around. If I were you, I'd stay in. Make tea, read a good gardening book. I like the ones on gardening ideas, I'm always ready for more ideas. Or how about read about new plants you'd like to try. Surf the web for gardening sites. Have some down time. Watch a movie. Meditate.

Okay, grandbaby is coming.
Love you all to pieces, Flower

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Tide Turning


Tomorrow is my first day of singledom--that is, it is the final day of the divorce. The light at the end of the tunnel. When you get divorced in Washington, there is a 90 day waiting period after one files. There are many things that can happen in 90 days. Some folks decide to stay married. Nothing happened for me, well one little thing that could have become a bigger thing--he didn't like the agreement--but that quickly went by the wayside. Why? Because a contested divorce is way more expensive than an non-contested divorce.

Now is a time for rest and recovery. And gardening. Bring in the cold sensitive plants. A lovely row of plants by a sunny window, what could be better. And be sure to mulch cold-sensitive plants that stay out doors. Roses for one, and the rhody plant. If you have root vegetables you want to winter over, cover the rows with leaves. If you are planting a cover crop, it would be a good time to do that.

Oh, and put in your garlic now. There are so many varieties. Try some new ones. I really love elephant garlic.

Well, wish me a good night sleep. It's hard to sleep during highly charged times--divorce being one of them. Now it should return to me.
Happy happy! Flower

Friday, November 7, 2008

Brocolli


Brocolli head
Originally uploaded by kschwink

Did you know that a serving of brocolli has more calcium in it than a serving of milk? As do other greens, such as kale, the leafy vegetables are very high in calcium. If you are like me, dairy intollerant, than greens are a good bet to keep your bones strong.

Brocolli is easy to grow for the organic gardener, but can get aphids. To take care of the problem, be sure to water well, keep your plants healthy with lots of organic fertilizer and if the plants get attacked, hose them off. Often, only one or two plants will have a problem. I keep the problem planst separate, by using the plants around them first. I was told a long time ago to plant for myself, to plant for the bugs, and around here, to plant for the deer. That way everyone stays happy.

The grandbaby will be here shortly, so if I have time today, I'll say a little more about brocolli. Aren't you just on pins and needles? If not, I'll see you tomorrow.

Happy Gardening

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Fiddling With Life

I'm wondering if we can fiddle with things and then life will go a little more smoothly. Like a recipe, every time you make it you decide what you can tweak that will enhance the flavor. A little more salt or a little less—a little more spice. I could use a little more spice in my life and better sleep. Those are the two things that I could do to improve my existence. Today I will listen to AMAG; a woman who channels the Ascended Masters. They have a lot to say about owning our lives, knowing that what we think is what we are and what we see. It is true, this think therefore I am thing. I've had experience with synchronicity, I guess it's the same thing. You see things play out like you expect. Like the election. Now I'm working on a good job so I can rest easy about my income. And I'm working on a true love. Has this not happened to me yet? I guess not. Obviously these relationships are not the end all. I'm getting old, so the end all better come soon.

Yesterday I had a fabulous acupuncture appointment. Ping Rice in Bellingham is a great Chinese Acupuncturist. I slept through the whole appointment. That's why I went—I haven't been sleeping well. She put about five needles in the top of my head and one between my eyebrows. There were a couple in my belly and ones on my legs and feet and hands. The most painful ones—the one on the top of my head, my hands, and legs. I could feel the pain in these points before I went. Now it is gone.

I went to the movie "Changling" last night. It was very good and intense. I enjoyed it and was worn out afterwards. The protagonist lost something precious to her. What could be more devastating? Sheez.

Well on to the garden. I saw my new garden partner yesterday and I have leaves waiting to take to the plot! I'll get it together next week, as this weekend I'll be in Kingston with some buddies from Crab Creek Review.

Ciao!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Whoo-hoo!!!!



I love it that we're here on earth while history is being made. I'm proud to live in a country where people are growing and changing and accepting new things. That people are willing to work hard, to embrace diversity, and to grow spiritually. I was listening to the news this morning; it wasn't so long ago when African-Americans couldn't vote. Women couldn't vote. We are changing for the good. And last night, at an election party, we watched skyp, folks checking in from around the world, congratulating President-elect Obama. Is this fabulous or what? This is stuff I dreamed about when I was a kid. I'm completely giddy with a feeling of hope, that the changes we are experiencing in our lives are leading to good. And it is always best to focus on the good.

As you all know, I'm in my own changes. I will be officially single on the 10th--I thought it was the 11th, but papers came yesterday naming the official date as the 10th--which in numerology is a 1 or new beginning. Perfect. Somehow, last night seemed to be a turning point for me as well. Maybe because we are all at a juncture; maybe there is truth in something larger at work. It seems that way to me, that the universe is alive with possibility and change. That anything is possible. That we can effect change based on our own desire. So what are your desires? What is it that you want the most? What do you not let yourself do or be?

For me, it's art. I've wanted to be a productive and known artist since I was a child. Now, I'm writing like crazy and facing the push/pull relationship I have with my visual art. Really, all creativity comes from one place. This block I have around painting is not a block, it is a fear of failing. I know from gardening, that if you don't plant the plot, only weeds will grow, and plants that reseed themselves, of course. Kale, for instance.

So it is better to choose, than to have a whole plot of kale. Millions and millions of kale plants. One can only come up with so many kale recipes, right? Well here is one of my favorites from http://www.glutenfreemamma.com/

BRAISED KALE WITH SESAME SEEDS
1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 cup yellow onion, chopped
1 bunch of kale
squeeze of lemon juice
1/2 cup vegetable stock or broth
1 Tablespoon of gluten-free Tamari Sauce (not sure how much for reg. soy sauce)
2 Tablespoons sesame seeds
DIRECTIONS:
In a large frying pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until almost translucent. Add the garlic and cook for about a minute more. Stir in the kale and the vegetable broth. Cover and cook until the kale is tender - about 10 minutes. Squeeze with lemon juice. Stir in the sesame seeds.
Serve about 4.


Have a great day!
Ciao! Flower

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Rain, Rain, Go Away On Election Day



Well, now we're back to our regular time and I'm surprised by how dark it is—seems like all the time now—dark, dark, dark. Of course the last few days have been so rainy—which makes it even darker. I have a full-spectrum light that I sit by when I write. This is during the low light season, so it is time to start. That and Vit D for mental health.

So today is the big day. I'm sure you don't need to be reminded to vote—it is everywhere you turn. And the TV ads have upped their intensity. I know one thing for sure, being a political candidate would be impossible for me. Too highly stressed of a job. I think the attack ads should be banned.

Plenty of sleep is the answer to stress, and exercise and fresh air. And eating right and doing the work (art, writing, etc). I've been putting together a book on marriage and divorce and if I rattle on about it, it is because I'm constantly trying to figure out how I really feel about the whole thing. I recorded the deed to the condo in my name yesterday. The 11th is supposed to be the final recorded date of the divorce (if he signs the divorce decree, that is). All these transitions bring up new levels of pain. This one, the completing one, means I'm alone completely now—of course I was before too. At least it looked like I wasn't. Alone is not something I like. Therefore, community garden, community writing classes, etc. etc. Community. I believe this is something we need more of--community. If we all had to stick around our villages and towns, that would happen. We've sprawled and that has disconnected us. I love the town I live in because it is relatively small.

In the picture above, my friend has mulched much of her garden with burlap bags. This is something I need to start doing, keeping the rows between the plants weed-free with burlap or cardboard. It works, except the slugs congregate beneath all that covering. I'll try it next year. I think the beautifully weeded gardens attract more deer. Mine, with it's weeds, hides the plants from their munching. Okay, I'm short on words today. So much going on in the collective.

Best in life, Flower

Monday, November 3, 2008

Get it Down, or Getting Down

As an artist and writer, I need to get it down on the page or on the canvas. As a gardener, I need to get it down on the earth. Getting down to work is the foremost part of the creative process. Getting down is also cool. So gardening is cool, writing is cool, painting is cool. Which is a contrary thought to what my father used to say. Yes, he used to say the bohemian life was dangerous, full of drugs and sex and ner-do-wells. Which is something I'm addressing now: how do all these things that keep one from getting down, and remain a good girl. This is funny. ,

But the point I'm making is that creatives can find many ways to not do their work. I find ways to stay away from my studio; just going there is overwhelming to me. Not that my condo doesn't overwhelm me; it does too. So much work to do. And the garden also overwhelms me. I'm overwhelmed most of the time, I'd say.

Meditation comes to mind. When I took a writing class in the late 90s, the teachers had us meditate first. Just a few minutes, feel ourselves there in the room, feel our bodies on the chair, clear away the day and what had happened prior to getting to the page. And then write. Interesting, I never do this now. I just jump in. It would be interesting to try it again.

Well, looks like another rainy day. It won't be long and the leaves will be gone. Hopefully I'll get some for my garden and get down.

Sunny day to you,

Flower

Sunday, November 2, 2008

It's Raining, It's Pouring...


The old man did snore, and now I don't have to listen to him any more. The divorce will be final on the 11th, Veteran's day. All the dates have ended up being on holidays--why is this? So I can celebrate, perhaps. I am a veteran of marriage. I earned the purple heart, wounded in the line of duty.

So now what, shop for Christmas? I think I'll be lying low this year and my daughter and son-in-law are moving, so we'll have Christmas at their new place. Probably low key, since we're all needing to tighten our purse strings.

I bought new shoes today. I walk daily--although today it was back and forth in the mall. Usually I put in an hour a day--which is good for the waist and the legs and the heart, etc., and wears out the shoes rather quickly. Kohl's had a nice sale. But boy oh boy, does shopping wear me out.

I was going to rake leaves at Brenda's today, but the rain came down so hard that there's standing water on the roads. I had a rooster tail on the highway. So I'm staying in, cleaning the house, doing some catching up.

Here 's a nice shot of me and the grandbaby. Halloween was fun.

Best,
Flower

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Trouble in Paradise


Where do I get these titles? Can there be trouble in paradise? Pair of dice? When we were kids we shot craps, is that how you say it? I tell you, I'm from a strange era, naughty secretaries, bourbon drinks I mixed for my parents, playing poker with the other kids while the parents drank and smoke. Well, there are worse things I suppose to grow up with. Some folks grow up in hideous conditions; I grew up fairly well off. It was the abuse and alcoholism that rocked my world.

Anyway, today I will gather leaves and heap them on my garden. It rained yesterday and cleared right about time for the little ones went out to trick or treat. I went with my daughter and son-in-law around to the Fairhaven merchants. The grandson wore a dinosaur costume. I thought he looked more like an alligator. He didn't get it at first, asking for candy, but after awhile he was digging into the bowls of goodies just like all the rest of the kids. Very cute. There was no trouble in paradise last night. Just laughter and cute little fairies and pirates and chickens and witches.

I went to dinner at my friends house and on the way home it was surreal. I guess it was around ten and there were marauding young adults dressed as everything from scarecrows to fairies. They marauded in groups down Bellingham's streets. It was bazaar, but of course, I was looking at it all from beneath my naughty secretary outfit: black wig, black short skirt, heels, and white shirt. Of course there were pearls too.

Well, must carry on with my day. I've lingered in bed until 9:30--that's the luxury of Saturday, right.

Happy November and be sure to vote. Flower
PS The picture was from earlier in the day--we were just playing around with the camera.