Terry Tempest Willimas

Last night Terry spoke in our little town of Bellingham and she had a fabulous turnout and was lovingly received. I had never heard her speak and was more than impressed. So much so that I was inspired to take my work in the direction I've been thinking about for some time. For a long time I've believed that doing your own thing, such as tending a garden or doing healing work, was enough to make change in the world. Changing oneself allows a space in everyone to change. And I still believe this is true. I've seen it work. Change my own behavior and my child changes, my grandchild changes.

Now I'm wondering what it would be like to notch it up a step. What if it's not just a pea patch garden but a place where extra food is donated, where native plants are grown, where somehow an awareness comes from the efforts put toward tending dirt and seed and root and weed? Well, I have no answers here, since mission is personal, and may or may not be able to be decided. Perhaps it is given, like Terry's mosaic mission. The word mosaic became meaningful in a way that she had no idea it would, and it touched us all, 100s of folks sniffling in the audience. Excerpts from her new book where fabulous: Finding Beauty in a Broken World I'll be reading it, that is for sure. Perhaps you'd like to too.

So my suggestion: ask for a guiding word. See what comes.
Ciao, Flower

New Times

Well, here we are with a new president and the balls last night were fabulous for all. We'll be riding the high for awhile, then back to work, right? I went to a ball with my friend Brenda. We had our picture taken with the cardboard cutout of Barack. Very cute indeed. Folks dressed up in a blue velvet gown, Brenda in black. We both wore rhinestones and looked fabulous. The music was Cajun, the food home made, red, white and blue balloons and just so many smiles. Hope really has come with this election.

Today, although still giddy, I must get back to work. I have writing to do--as a novelist and memoir writer, I find scheduling time the most difficult. Since the divorce, all I've wanted to do is play. I guess all the pain needed to transform--play seems to be the answer. I also have a sweet man in my life now. This is new so don't have much to say about it yet.

Gardening is not far off. It's a given that we'll get the spuds in on Good Friday and peas are early too. You might do some planning now, drawings of where you will rotate your crops. Remember rotation is good for keeping pest invasions. And new plants add different things to the soil. So think about where you can add nitrogen by planting the pea crop this year. I had a lot of trouble with deer eating my peas. So I put a fence around the garden of fishing line. THey can't see it, and it isn't too obvious to you either, and when they bump into it, they feel it and back away. Works well. If you have the strands too far apart, the babies can step through.

Okay then, have a grand day--high from all our happiness right now. Hope and hard work. That's the answer. See Barak's book The Audacity of Hope

Ciao
Flower

New Thoughts

Here is what I've been pondering. What if we could let go of all our grievances. Perhaps this is called forgiveness, or maybe it's is something else, like the power of now. I've been pondering how my reactions made things worse in my last marriage. If had no reaction, or at least attached nothing to the things that came at me, perhaps I at least could have been calmer. Now I have a new friend, and for this friend I feel love. I'm wondering if I will be the same person I was before, or if I could muster myself to a place of peace. Perhaps just being an observer of what is happening. No judgment.

For many years I've been practicing no judgment in my writing and art. If one judges ones work, it is harder to be experimental and let things come as they will. But in relationship, if there is trust, and nonjudgment, perhaps things could be good that before were hostile. Or at least caused bickering.

Just a thought while the garden lies fallow. Some may be over there gardening still. But it has been raining hard and today cold again. I imagine even the grow boxes are doing little. I will go over and check to see if I have any chard left. The deer were getting pretty frisky when I last did any work over at the pea patch.

Okay, so check out the book The Power of Now for more thoughts on being with what is in the moment, rather than calling up all of tarnation for any little transaction.

Ciao,
Flower

Inner Gardens

During the dark winter months it is nice to have narcissus and paper whites, fragrant flowers blooming in your home. My daughter said she'd buy flowers all the time if she could afford them. I'm proposing flowers all the time, because really, they are no more expensive than the daily latte—perhaps less. I passed a little garden store on Harris yesterday and she had a bench outside her front door loaded with pots of paper whites and cyclamen. Cyclamen are known for their romantic nature and if purchased for the bride and groom they will bring good luck for a long marriage.

Speaking of marriage, I've been single now for three months. Seems longer, actually. And now I'm facing with a new set of dilemmas. Dating comes with mixed feelings, multiple courters, chemistry or no, jealousies, etc. Ah, what's a girl to do? Perhaps stay centered with nature and the garden, always coming back to check on the water level in the soil, the weeds, possible animal and insect infestations. All could be metaphors for life.

Here is a suggestions for winter reading: The Care and Feeding of the Soul
Peace, Flower

Flooding and Other Winter Troubles

You may know about the flooding here in the PNW. The stream that runs past the community garden has left it's banks. Fortunately, here in Fairhaven it isn't doing any damage. Other streams have gone from two feet wide to more than a football field wide. It truly is amazing all the water. Down on the Skagit flats, it looks like one continuous lake. The trumpeter swans are in the fields that are dry. This happens every year, these big white birds fly into the farmer's fields and create a little havoc.

The gardens right now are soggy and gardening seems so far off. What to do until potatoes and peas? Well, shop at your local garden stores. Plan what you will grow. Try doing a garden journal. I kept one for awhile, sketching the shapes of my beds and what perennials I'd planted. It was a new yard back then, so keeping track of the trees was a good idea--I couldn't remember all the apples trees I planted, let alone the unusual perennials I found at Heronswood Nursery.

So now, since the winter is keeping us all in a bit--so much rain--I was thinking of getting the inside work done. Cleaning out cupboards, discarding unneeded items. It won't be long before we'll all be back outside. Also being the beginning of the year, refining goals is important. I seem to have a goal of socializing. Hard to get much work done this way, but lots of fun. Especially after the nasty divorce and all the downer time I had. Well it's good for the soul.

Keep dreaming, Flower

Garden Goals

I was reading this morning from a little book called Gratitude: Affirming the GOod THings in Life about setting goals. Anything we want in life can be had by setting a goal toward reaching it. If we aren't supposed to have it, it won't come, but if we are, it gives us focus and clearity. It is exciting and life-affirming to make the steps toward something.

Now that I'm divorced, I have a new goal. It is to find a satisfying and healthy relationship. I beleive I've stepped into this territory a tiny bit and yikes, it's is very exciting surf. Anyway, I'll tell you more as I know more. For now I'll just say, I'm having some fun.

Now for the garden goal. My garden goal is to make the soil better. I have a friend who will help and I have some leaves to add--which you already know. I think blood meal might be good addition too. Perhaps chicken manure. As I've gotten to know the local neigbors around the pea patch, I've realized that chickens are also my neighbors. Since I now have a male gardener friend who can push a wheelbarrel better than me, I can get this work done.

So gardening as a single woman--this wouldn't be so hard if it were more of a social act. I really like to have someone working beside me.

Peace,
Flower

PS The snow is gone now! Oops, the floods are here.

Vegan Mix Fertilizer

Okay, now this makes sense. If you're not a meat or dairy eater, then why put something on your garden that comes from critters. So you can get it from Territorial Seed Company. It's not cheap, however, 12.95 per bag. 1 lb covers 20 sq. ft. and the bag is 6 lbs. Also I'm thinking that with no animal by-products there would be no potential source of something strange—like mad cow disease germs. Although I haven't a clue if disease would be transferrable in this manner. Anyone know the facts on this?

And Territorial Seed also sells a neat stackable turbo steamer for your vegetables. So grow them in your vegan fertilizer, bring them inside and steam away. The unit sits separate on the counter and has three tiers. Nice for getting the dinner down quickly. I have always steamed my vegetables in a pan with one of those little collapsible steamers. Or I put a tiny bit of water in the pan and when the veggies are done, eat the vegetables and drink the water--yum!

Speaking of vegetables, getting lots of greens this time of year is important for your health. I know it is easy to go for more of the starchy foods, but I feel better pretending it is spring and I'm exercising daily and eating my veggies. I was reading in the book The Right Questions by Debbie Ford, that if you want to do something, say eat more great vegetables, but you still go for the candy and cookies as snacks, look at your real thought. Perhaps you think you want to do a better job taking care of your health, but underlying that, your thought is you are always a little over weight and not feeling great about yourself. This is your actual motivating thought. I'm going through my thought wardrobe and clearing out. It is after all, a new year.

Love and light, Flower

Make Love, Not War in the New Year

I probably already wished you this, but happy, happy again. 2009 is a new beginning for all of us. I believe we will all be spending more time in our hearts. What else is there to do at this point? Fighting is just not the way to go—look how we've hurt each other through the years and still we continue. One of my main resolutions is to be less combative. I think the old hippy saying is a good one: Make Love, Not War. And with all the good that is available to us, this should be an easy choice. Although it has to be a conscious choice. In each moment there is the choice to react or to agree. This is the simplest way to not fight. A generous couple counselor in Seattle says to always make your partner right. There is a little truth in everything—right? Thich Nhat Hanh says to always clear things up on Fridays—so the weekend will go smoothly. Have a little chat with your lover—say what is bother you and be sure to own it—it isn't easy, but it is possible.

Okay, another snowy day and I'm going out for a walk. Time for the exercise routine to get in gear. Get off these extra pounds and get things cleaned up in the house, the greenhouse, the garden shed, the basement, the attic. You name it. All new.

Peace, Flower

Happiness

Happiness is warm sun—ha, ha! Well, happiness is a lush garden, a beautiful sunset, a wonderful smell of rain in the air, a laughing child. I'm thinking this morning that now at the end of the year, happiness is a goal. You all know I've been through hell this last year with the divorce and move, etc. And I've had lower than low points emotionally. And now, I'm free. In my freedom I at first thought I might go wild. Be like a teen again, but now, I'm feeling different energy. Perhaps like a growing plant, reaching for sun and water. Or perhaps like a child, discovering new each day, or each moment even. So now as I experience happiness, I want this to be my way of life. Even if it isn't every moment that I feel happy, I can aspire to more strung together.

AMAG, the chaneled Masters. say that this brilliant state of joy is our natural state. I know I experience joy or bliss from time to time, but not all the time. What would that be like? Something to taste, maybe slowly, taste every day, more and more. Ways to taste this bliss, think of the grandbaby running his fingers through my hair when he turns shy meeting new friends, or discovering a bloom on a orchid, or having my cat curl on my lap, laughing with a friend, hiking in the snow, listening to the birds, sitting with a crying friend. Yes, even that last one has an element of joy in it. Whenever we feel our hearts connect and it is beautiful.

Now I know this is a contrast to what I was writing back in August. I was just hanging in there. I've done multiple things to heal: Vit D, writing, sitting with friends, therapy, acupuncture, exercise, art. You name it, because it takes everything to get over loss. And it is still here inside of me, like a bulb underground, and it could grow, if I gave it something to grow on. But right now, here at the new year, I'm into happiness and I'm inviting you to try it out too.

Hugs, Flower

Winter Walk

Yesterday I walked around Lake Padden with a friend. The snow was still a foot deep near the top of the trail and very wet, puddles beneath it in places, but it was a sunny day and the air smelled so good and the company was good. The maples were dripping tannin-like substance, staining the snow beneath then. Winter wrens were chirping. The moss and the ferns were bright green against the white. Nature in winter, ah so good to get out. It isn't always possible if you live in a place where it's blowing and very cold. But here, we get those springier days, even in winter. And when the sun comes out so do the people. And people were out on the trail with their dogs, walking around the lake on the icy trail, passing by the lake with its skim of ice close to shore. We took the high road, which was snowier and easier to walk. Stopped once to listen to the wrens. My friend is an ornithologist, so I got some instruction on the birds in the woods at winter.

And when we dropped around to the lake, a number of ducks were feeding near shore. He pointed out the canvas back, the ringed neck duck, the grebe, merganser, and of course the one I know, the mallard. Ducks aren't my forte, although I know many birds. I guess we're more familiar with the birds we grow up around: crow, robin, sparrow, swallow, owl.

I've heard that ducks and geese make good weeders for fields of mint. Have you ever driven past a field of mint? Ah, the aroma. When I had ducks and geese, I didn't find them good for the garden. Their feet were too big and they waddled through the seedlings, mashing them. The chickens were okay, although sometimes they got too exuberant in the newly sprouting garden. I'm sure you've seen them really going at it, scratching the soil to find the bugs. They loved the tomato worms, those big worms that look like they have huge eyes. Very disgusting creatures that eat your tomatoes like crazy. Fortunately, they are easy to see and pick off.

Must go now, as I have the grandbaby today. Happy all most New Year.

Flower

Chinook Winds

When I was growing up in Spokane we, even as children, would speak of the Chinook winds. The winds that would come from the south, warm winds that smelled like spring, blew through the night and when we awakened in the morning, all, or mostly all of our lovely snow was gone. So now, we are having a Chinook. I looked out there this morning and mostly all of the snow is gone. I'm close to sea level, so up hill it will remain, I'm sure. But here we are back to our usual weather, which is both a good thing and a sad thing--I didn't get out on my skis like I'd planned. But the sledding was satisfying in a way that nothing has been in a very long time. There will still be ski opportunities, this winter.

As we come up on the end of the year, some reflection on the past year usually happens and then some goals are usually set. What I like to do is keep an on-going journal for New Year's Eve celebrations. Usually I spend some time writing down what I did during the year--significant things. Of course, 2008 was my divorce year. And then I make some intentions for the following year--for instance this year I want to find a new place to live. A place that I can really move into and feel comfortable. This place of 525 square feet is like living in a hotel room. And I pay for monthly storage fee as well--which seems to be a waste of money. To have all my belongings here would feel more settling.

Now that the snow is going I can make a plan to get the leaves on the garden. Mike has a truck, which is a good thing to have when you need to move leaves or top soil or manure. I'm glad I'll have his help with my plot. Plot sounds like underground real estate. Funny--that's what my mortician friend used to call it. I'll say pea patch from now one.

Okay, have a good day and begin thinking about the positive qualities you'd like to bring to life this next year.

Peace, Flower

Back At It

Gosh, there is so much work and emotional stuff leading to Christmas day, and then it's over. Perhaps you overspent, or overate, or maybe you didn't pick up the phone and call a loved one, but there is always time for making the moves you didn't make. Today you could call. Today you could eat less. Today balance your checkbook--make a plan to save some money.

Sometimes I get in a funk thinking life isn't worth living, but really, I have so much good in my life. Just take my sweet grandbaby. I wonder sometimes why I can't stay focused on my good. I read the other day that if you list a range of feelings, say from ecstasy all the way to deep depression, and you locate yourself on that list, you can raise yourself up a notch at a time and begin to settle where you would like to be emotionally. One way to do this is to think of an time that was happy, so that you can focus yourself on the scene when you're down. For instance, the laughter of a child, or a particularly hilarious moment with friends. Jeep thinking of the situation, and you'll see. You'll bring yourself up.

Yesterday we sledded at my daughter's house. They have a new home and their yard is steep and so is the cul-de-sac. We started at the side yard and ended in the street down below. It was some fast and windy run. Very fun. After we tired of this, and were getting a little sore too, we built a snowman who's head looked more like a wolf than the traditional round-faced guy. It was completely fun.

Okay then, happy happy--and if you find nothing to do today, look at seed catalogues. Perhaps plan some gardening that you can start early. Peas and potatoes, not far off. Imagine turning over the dirt, working up a sweat. Imagine all the flowers in bloom.

Peace, Flower

PS In the picutre, the grandbaby is eating the raisins we used for the eyes and buttons on the snowman.