Unagi Don

Seasoned eel on a bed of sushi rice. Strips of julienned Daikon radish. Wasabi & pickled ginger. Yummy! No not the babies dinner, the mean Eileen and I had last night in Canada. We drove to Canada, about a 1/2 hour drive from here, to listen to another friend, Elke, talk about spiritual discernment. This was in regards to following spiritual teachers—like Eckhart Tolle--or new ones that will be coming out of the woodwork. She was advising us as to how to know if a teacher is right for you. She talked a bit about cults and those who wish to have power over others. And those of us who wish to give up our power.

Discernment is mainly a function of trusting the inner messages—hearing "walk away " and following the message is one way to listen to the self. Feeling ill may be another message to walk away or finding yourself checking out. I know both of these well but didn't link them to my situation—which wasn't a situation with a spiritual leader—but was a situation with someone who wanted power over. So eventually, after getting very sick, I walked away. Perhaps it's easier to listen and act--no big deal.

Now back to the meal. It was a Japanese place next door to a metaphysical store in White Rock. The food was excellent. We drove up, crossed the border without too much trouble. I still have junk in my car from moving, and the guard questioned it. He was a bit imposing, but then said, "Goodbye" like the woman says on that show, The Weakest Link. Is that still on? Well, that's beside the point. Anyway, it was a nice evening and the food was great.

Today I'm cleaning out—yes, I told you about Peter Walsh. Cleaning out is the way to get free in life. Okay—I'm willing to try it. First the closet. Yes, then the dresser. Yes, then…. So get Peter's book and see how getting rid of stuff (gurus and husbands too) will set you free. It's All Too Much: An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff And if you go to Oprah.com you can sign up to get assignments from Peter. We can clean up together.

All for now—LOL, Flower

Full Moon In Pisces

The full moon is opposite the sun in the sky Sunday—the sun is in Virgo—anyone having the urge to clean and organize? And with the moon is in Pisces—anyone feeling emotional, vulnerable, spiritual? And Jupiter is close to the moon in the sky. I heard that the moons of Jupiter can be seen through binoculars at night. Jupiter's energy is expansive and with its relationship to the moon at the moment, we could be asking ourselves how we can expand our belief systems—could we stand in the shoes of another? I'm trying this very thing with the ex. However his shoes are confusing. Today, until 7 pm, you can download from Oprah.com the book Why Men Cheat I downloaded the book. I'm curious. Maybe it will give me the answers.

Okay then, the grandbaby is here. He wants to look at the "putter", so more later.

Flower

Summer Again!

Last night I had a meal out (Flats in Fairhaven) with a good friend who is off on Friday to England, and then perhaps Iran and Afghanistan. It depends on his visa where he will travel to, and since the visa didn't come on time, he will wait for it in England. I have a deep desire inside to be so bold, to muster my courage and fly off--perhaps to London or Paris, perhaps back to Rome. But really, I'm mostly chicken disguised as brave woman. And in the heat of the day yesterday, I was aware of my lack of bravery. Not that I have to be always on, always couragous, but to travel , pop off to some exotic place without a plan, without a partner, isn't for the faint of heart.

I admire all my traveling friends, which means to me that I will be traveling more, because anything I want I move toward, I begin to embrace by biting off bits of fear as I go. Fear transforms, I believe. I used to be afraid of dogs and living alone, teaching, and cayenne pepper. None of these things frighten me now, except living alone is lonely at times--but not frightening.

Lately I've been experiencing an interesting phenomena--a broken heart. I'm only calling it this because grief and the ache it imposes on the heart isn't named much in our society. But it is a real pain, both kinds, and results in a ache the size of a large saucer or small luncheon plate exactly placed over the heart. Now I could imagine a shield going into battle, much larger of course, but perhaps this ache is like a shield, only in my case, it's breaking apart, sort of dissolving under the pressure of loss. Whatever the case, it is a real pain, palpable and curious. Yes, I've decided to be curious about it instead of trying my best to get rid of it--it doesn't go away anyway, although I'm assured that it will with time.

I've sent for a book called Intimate Terrorism after reading an article by the author in Oprah Magazine. He was saying that one must not hope to be friends with the lost lover, because it doesn't work and it does delay the grief. Grief changes a person, for the better. It goes deep inside and empties out pockets of pain and transforms the individual. I'm trusting these words of wisdom. I will let you know more once I get the book what the steps to take are.

From my pathetic little garde I picked broccoli raab that went into my chicken dinner; the spinach became a nest for my breakfast egg yesterday; I had broccoli from the farmers market today in an omelet with goat cheese, and last night with my friend Peter, yams with aoili sauce and omelet of caramelized onions and truffle oil. Ooh wee, all is not painful

Ciao!

PS That's a closeup of my painting "Roots". It goes with the heart thing, I think.