You Have to Be Strong

When you're married, you have someone there with you who's strong, who picks up the pieces, who wraps an arm around you and says, It will be all right. When you're single, it can only be your friends and yourself. And some say spirit; however, I've never felt the arm of God around me. Figuratively, of course, but not physically. This is what I want, a tangible experience of Spirit and of man—eventually, that is. Many people say they are atheists, and although I can't say what is really there, I do know that the earth is there in abundance, enlivening everything. There has to be a force to make this happen. And then there is the old heart pumping away. How does this happen, this animation, without some great force making it all in the first place? These are questions that ring inside of me, waking me daily to the awe of life, reminding me to be full of joy. Here's a book I'm looking at by Julia Cameron

The garden is difinitely full of joy right now. Beautiful colorful flowers: zinnias, dahlias, sunflowers, cosmos, and glads shout with joy. I have a bouquet of dahlias in my kitchen right now. There are lovely shades of red and yellow and white. So full, plump petals vibrating with life. My sister likes to squeeze flowers and ooh over them. She is in the right profession, a wedding florist. I like to paint flowers, so much color, so much beauty.

Last night I saw Garrison Keillor at the Western Washington Auditorium. He was completely fabulous, such a professional. Such a talented man. Present, listening, making connections as the show unfolded. It was truly an enlivening experience. There was a outward expression of Spirit if I ever saw one. I was completely taken. Now I have a book to read and will enjoy every word of it. My friends Kelli Russell Agodon, Brenda Miller, and Nancy Pagh went with me. We had a blast.

Okay , then, must shower and get on with my day. Be happy and smell the flowers.

Flower

Zinnias

My sister is a wedding florist as well as teaches floral design at the community college here in Spokane. She's creative and playful, has a mess of grandchildren, and like me, likes to read and write and garden and create. Today, she is collecting hens and chicks out by Geiger Field for unique wedding bouquets. She's at that place in her creativity where the standard bridal bouquets don't do much for her and the stunning creations she's making are full of interesting flowers, including unripe raspberries, zinnias she grows in her own yard, and the hens and chicks she's gathered. I'm proud of her and moved by her process.

I just returned from a walk at Manito Gardens where I perused with my Spokane best friend the rose garden, the Japanese gardens, the formal gardens and the park in general. As we strolled along the grassy treed knolls I thought of the winter nights sledding the hill as a child, the sandwiches at the Park Bench with my ex, which my dad said the building used to be part of a zoo. Imagine a zoo in a centrally located park in a small town. A cute town with old bungalows with wood floors and built ins. Ah, my home town. I miss it when I'm away.

So my latest understanding of life it not to be attached to the ups and downs. Everything changes--I'm happy, I'm sad; I'm on creatively, I'm off; I'm feeling strong, I'm feeling weak: I love, I feel indifferent. My friend Brenda was telling me that these polarities can be lived more evenly. This is a theory from astrology too. Coming from the middle position of the polar opposites. Well, I find it challenging--although I think I'm better at not thinking what is will last forever. That's called hopelessness.

My sister is preparing flowers for a wedding she's doing tomorrow. It's a small one and won't take much time--she works fast. This afternoon will include a movie and then later a dinner out. There will be more relaxing time and time with friends throughout the week. The weather is hot and dry, but not too hot. This is good.

Onward,
Flower