Too Beautiful

I can't explain how beautiful it was there in Oregon, and how relaxing and enjoyable to be in the woods and in the heat. I'm back in Bellingham now, and yes it is hot, and a tad humid. It's not bad to be back in the humidity, but I must say, being in that dry heat reminded me of growing up in Spokane, and the smell, sunwarmed pine pitch. Yum! And sweet wildflowers. Ah, I so miss it already.

The river we stayed next to rushed constantly and the sound was lulling. At night, it got very cold--so cold I needed an extra blanket on the bed and the electric heater running. There's something about hot days and cold nights that makes me feel so alive.

Now for a little garden info. Mike is giving up on the garden, which is okay. He is willing to help me weed on occasion. I will be there tomorrow and see what a week has done to my little plot. Being away for a week has helped me to see how much time I waste (re: writing) and how badly I'm in need of more solitude (re:writing). It is interesting that when I returned home, there was a message on my left-behind cell phone from a real estate agent-friend who has a cute little house to show me on a woodsy lot. I was thinking more of a lake place or at least a lake lot. If I could afford it, that would be ideal.

Anyway, love and gardens and reprieves. All the makings of humanity. I don't like the retraction of love and don't really understand it. Perhaps it will come to me over time, how someone can pretend to love another, and then bolt away. This to me is an intimacy problem. My heart doesn't know that. My heart only knows what it feels and it feels like shit right now. The divorce papers will be filed this week. Dang it all.

One more thing before I call it a night. We saw an eagles nest with mom and pop and babies. It was where the river emptied into the lake. Fabulous sight, and thrilling too, as the eagle swept down from a cottonwood tree and appeared to aim for us, landing in a branch overhead and near enough that we weren't positive we wouldn't be shat upon. Abbe was with us, which made us think that the eagle was threatened. Or perhaps just showing off--or maybe it was his/her take-a-picture-it-lasts-longer attitude. By the way, my picture isn't great, but you can see the eagle guarding the nest and a baby. Sweet!

All for now, Flower